Touring Quiz

1) Friend M carried both a violin and a viola aboard a plane, but found himself boarding nearly last. Tyranny of overhead bins! He was attempting to reorient some nearby bags when their owner spoke: "we are very well situated here." What, one may well ask, about their situated state precluded the reorientation of bags from x to y? Against this enigma, M pressed on. "If I could only turn this bag around..." And he was thus rebuffed: "I really wish you wouldn't reroute everything." So much irrationality and odd vocabulary cannot be easily confronted. M was flustered; a steward offered a closet; all was saved. But co-traveler L thought inwardly, "Reroute THIS, you [expletives deleted]!" Can she be forgiven this uncharitable moment? Explain. Extra credit: what is the Platonic form of an overhead bin?

2) Pianist J while on tour playing a transcription of Ysaye was excited to find that Ysaye's granddaughter would be attending that evening's concert. What an honor! J was expecting insights, or illuminating anecdotes. Afterwards, this rather elderly woman came up to J, who waited with baited respectful breath, and asked: "are you a professional pianist?" Insight to insult; honor to shame. J did not know what to say; at a loss, he laughed in her face, which was not nice. How should J have responded instead? Who is more to blame: the granddaughter, or the presenter who neglected to print J's biography in the program, in breach of contract? Discuss.

3) En route, post-gig, back to the airport, lovely woman states she has been a "star schlepper for 20 years." Shortly thereafter, amused pianist J muses happily and repeats the phrase "star schlepper" aloud. The woman qualifies: "I was being polite." J is yet more amused. What do you think the impolite version would have been? A riff on "star" or "schlepper"? Or both?

4) Musician X hosts unexpected but delightful companion Y overnight in X's hotel room, while on tour. Musician X and companion Y are single, consenting adults. In the morning, picking up X for an early flight, experienced artist liaison Z recognizes not only X, but also the emerging Y (Z met Y the night before, when Z helped X secure Y tickets for the concert). Z lifts an inordinately expressive eyebrow towards X. What is X's classiest response: a) a similarly lifted eyebrow; b) a muted smirk; c) total feigned ignorance and non-noticing of eyebrow; or d) other response to be determined? Please justify your answer.